Bane of the Beflaked
...screwed up hardware, and how it got that way.
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Chapter 1: You Might Have Flaky Hardware |
If any of these things are true, you might have flaky hardware.
- If you own an original Nintendo™, Atari 2600™, or Coleco™...
- If your toaster connects to the network, but your iMac™ just burns your furniture...
- If you ever have to defend your car with the words "Getting out and pushing is reverse..."
- If your washer, dryer, or ancient storage drive is mobile but your car isn't...
- If there are several dents in your PC's case about the size of your largest tech manual...
- If your html editor spontaneously puts the character "™" into your web pages whether anybody cares about trademarks or not...
- If your antenna is bravely supporting an entire roll of Aluminum Foil...
- If you've ever hyperventilated trying to get Metroid™ to work...
- If you've ever wanted to go back in time to kill Thomas Edison, thrash Alexander Bell, maim Ben Franklin, or single-handedly prevent the industrial revolution...
- If you own a rubber chicken with a "Tech Support" badge...
- If you think "Rage Against the Machine™" is a technical term...
- If you've ever marvelled at the stability of your child's "See-N-Say"™...
- If its not an Etch-A-Sketch™, but you still have to jiggle it to reboot...
- If your annoying online animated help character reponds to your questions with "Oh, I don't know anything about computers..."
- If you've ever destroyed your own audio equipment to stop the hideous beating of the old man's heart...
- If your keyboard suddenly becomes an output device...
- If your dishwasher begins leaking...deadly acid...
- If the clock on your VCR isn't blinking...
- If you've ever electrocuted yourself with a cordless device that had no batteries at the time...
- If your telephone rings when you don't have a call and is silent when you do...
- AND FINALLY... If the materials of a specific appliance reach more than 80% duct tape...
Thank you for reading Chapter One of "The Curse." Please come again soon for our second installment: "The Flakiness of R2-D2"
-the Pedro Picasso
Claimer
This site is intended to be humorous. "Cult of the Flaky Hardware", "X-Omega", and "Pedro Picasso" are all trademarks of Adrian P. Dunston. All content contained in this website is
©Copyright Adrian P. Dunston September 3, 2000. Please don't copy my stuff. If you would like to contact us, please write to "adrian at x dash omega dot com".
We welcome feedback.
